Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
