I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
