Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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