Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize