i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
