I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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