dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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