remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
