True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
