FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
