i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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