so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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