That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
