She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
