You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
