No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
