Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
