I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
