You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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