the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
