the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
