Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
