It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
