Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize