Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
