I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
