Christians are straight up FREAKS
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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