Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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