If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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