no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
