and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
