Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
