Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
