normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
