So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
