mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
