just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
