Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
