i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize