I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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