Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
