I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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