Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
