I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
