What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
