we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
