I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Text me some of your sweat
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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