How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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