he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
