i think i have two assholes
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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