Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
