sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
