I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
false alarm. still invincible.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
