Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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