god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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