i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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