I can tuck mytits in my pants
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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