didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
