Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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