Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
