I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
