It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
They are going to name an STD after you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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